Category Archives: prison re entry

Aside

What is prison and who do we find FREEDOM???

Everyday I work with a wide variety of clients. Sometimes I am preparing the defendant for prison, sometimes I work only with their families, prepare people for court, prepare alternatives such as community service and rehab. Always I am in crisis management mode. But recently I have noticed a sharp increase in the number of people who have not only addictions but also mental health issues. Often these are not genetic issue but problems that have developed due to abuse, stress and trauma.

So, I ask the question- what is PRISON? Many people I met while in prison myself were not only growing and learning from their experience there, but also had developed a lightness about their circumstance and re-entry. Yet, many people recently seem to be in a very dark place. Maybe this is timing, maybe this is based on the fact that they have had other chances and failed and maybe the real issue is that I am finding it necessary to have most of my clients seek serious therapy now and not just AA and other rehab options.

Thus, many people are in prisons of their own making and just do not know how to find freedom. Prison is a relative term now to me. I learned a lot from prison. Just as money can’t buy you class, escaping jail time cannot and will not buy you FREEDOM.

All of the recent repeat offenders suggest just this. We can’t expect that AA and rehab is going to turn a person’s life around. They must do the work and get to the heart of the matter. Celebrities are always in the news for repeat DUI arrests and even other crimes including shoplifting and other cries for attention. This is not a coincidence. This is a cry for help, attention and a true lack of coping skills.

One culprit may be the lack of personal connection many feel in this age of social media. It certainly adds to the stress level of many and the isolation of many more. Add those together and we have loneliness and a type of self imposed prison.

Where we find Freedom is an extension of what is prison. The answer to both is within. There is no doubt that 30 days in jail changes nothing but long term work and treatment does. So does community service and being of service to others. As I often say, Community Service should be mandatory for anybody finding themselves in a courtroom. This may indeed be the key to the path to FREEDOM.

Wendy Feldman is a criminal justice expert, insider and family legal coach. She is available for private consultation on how to prepare for a successful incarceration, probation and re-entry. She is also available for media commentary and has appeared on shows from The Today Show, The CBS Early Show, E! News, People.com, Fox News, NBC News, CNN, NPR and Nancy Grace. She is a weekly featured guest on the syndicated America Now radio program. She may be reached at wendy@wendyfeldman.com

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February 27, 2013 · 10:11 PM
September 8, 2012 · 10:37 PM

Once again the winner is Community Service…

Recently I have several clients who have not done well on pre trial or after their cases have been resolved. There is ONE reason for this- these people lack passion. Low self esteem and fear plague everybody who is dealing with a crisis such as lack of freedom or newly restored freedom.

In every case I have urged Community Service to both empower my client, and to learn about new people and develop a passion. Yet, in every current case I have, the courts have FAILED to order Community service. Despite my best efforts the clients do not finish or participate at all.

The other aspect of Community Service that works so well is the Accountability it provides. Most people flourish under such accountability. People who are under great stress do well with structure. So, why do judges fail to understand this? Simple, our system is not only broken but also way out of date. It’s no wonder that recidivism is so high. We give people re-entering society very few tools, and without these tools success is much harder. I often say that Prison is easy, re-entry is the tough part. I firmly believe this. I can get anybody and their family prepared for a prison term, it is what happens after that matters. In fact, the moment that I prepare a person for prison I am also preparing them and their family for re-entry.

So, what can we do? Simply keep pushing forward, raising awareness to our system and what works and what doesn’t. The more we shine a light on how to succeed, the more we will get others to believe and succeed as well. For now- JUDGES- ORDER COMMUNITY SERVICE IN ADDITION TO THE ORIGINAL SENTENCE YOU WERE CONSIDERING.

 

Wendy Feldman is a criminal justice expert, insider and family legal coach. She is available for private consultation on how to prepare for a successful incarceration, probation and re-entry. She is also available for media commentary and has appeared on shows from The Today Show, The CBS Early Show, Fox News, NBC News, CNN, NPR and Nancy Grace. She is a weekly featured guest in the syndicated America Now radio program. She may be reached at wendy@wendyfeldman.com

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Filed under Criminal Justice, prepare for jail, prison coaching, prison consultant, prison preparation, prison re entry

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May 12, 2012 · 3:15 PM

What’s prison like on Mother’s Day???

Prison on mother’s day- the busiest place on earth. Certainly not the happiest, but the busiest. Mother’s day is the number one day for visitors in a women’s prison. You see it all. From kids who have not seen their mom’s in a year or more, to every baby daddy on earth trying to do the right thing even if just for a moment.

Mother’s day is also the hardest day if you are in prison and a mom. For many it is the only day of the year they allow themselves to be sad or even remorseful. People in prison all use different coping strategies to deal with the loss, anger and isolation of  their choices. When I was in a Federal Prison camp for mother’s day, it seemed like the only day when everyone got along with each other, or at least tried. In fact, I saw more compassion and empathy in prison on mother’s day than I do on the outside sometimes. It is the ultimate reality check when you find yourself in prison on mother’s day.

I was lucky enough to have my family and my children visit me often. But, for those who don’t, here are some resources. Prisoners with Children is a wonderful organization and has programs to help families. The Girl Scouts also has a program to help children visit their parents as does Get On The Bus. As hard as it may seem to understand, it is only through programs like these that we can stop the cycle and begin the healing.

As I say often, families are the forgotten consequences of crime. We can’t ignore that the best way for a successful re-entry back to society  is through the quality of family relationships. The trend is for prisons to encourage visits and family contact. I not only agree but do whatever I can to raise awareness to this issue. The stigma of an incarcerated parent is a heavy one, yet with the proper tools and understanding, this burden can be dealt with.

Support these and other programs and always remember that change is possible with hard work.

To everyone, Happy Mother’s Day and may you find peace and freedom in the future.

Wendy Feldman is a criminal justice expert, insider and family legal coach. She is available for private consultation on how to prepare for a successful incarceration, probation and re-entry. She is also available for media commentary and has appeared on shows from Today, CBS Early Show, Fox News and Nancy Grace. She is a weekly featured guest in the syndicated America Now radio program. She may be reached at wendy@custodialcoaching.com. 

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April 22, 2012 · 8:07 PM

Hello LOHAN-What does it take to re-enter society???

I am often asked what it takes to come back to society after prison and if it is possible. The answer is that it happens everyday and it is very tough. Prison is easy- Re-entry is hard. But, possible and wonderful if looked at as a task. Freedom should never be taken for granted.

There are three very famous, very different high profile cases going through re-entry right now. Casey Anthony, Amanda Knox and Lindsay Lohan. All served jail time and all have been released back to society with a new level of infamy. Anthony is the only one who has some probation to finish and who will have other conditions with her for a long time. But, the process of re-entry after any formal probation or incarceration is a difficult one.

People do well in prison and on probation because of the accountability. Once that accountability is lifted it is up to an individual to remember what they learned and how to translate that into free life. There are two components that make up a successful re-entry: FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS/COMMUNITY TIES and accountability. This is why visiting people inside prison and keeping in touch is so important. The fact is that over 95% of all people incarcerated in the U.S. will be released and most in less than less than 5 years. This means that we must do a better job to empower people and help them learn from their mistakes and pasts.

There are resources for those coming back to society but they are few and far between. Imagine you were coming back to a free society with little money, no job and a family to support? It is no wonder why so many people wind up in trouble again. This is compounded for high profile people who have definite targets on her back. Life will be difficult and everyday things can get in the way and even trip you up. My advice-be cautious and stick to some sort of routine that works with it’s own accountability. That could mean continued therapy, substance abuse programs and even something as simple as exercise and support groups.

I often coach people who are re-entering society and this are much more difficult than preparing people for prison. I often ask them to pretend that they are still on probation or in prison so that they have rules to FOLLOW. Freedom when you have lost it is even more enticing and of course sweeter. But, it is a task to learn how to experience it and appreciate it properly. As I say, change is possible but it always takes hard work.

 

Wendy Feldman is a criminal justice expert and family legal coach. She is available for private consultation on how to prepare for a successful incarceration, probation and re-entry. She is also available for media commentary and has appeared on shows from Today, CBS Early Show to Fox News and Nancy Grace. She may be reached at wendy@custodialcoaching.com. 


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October 3, 2011 · 1:31 PM

Why the Amanda Knox case will be much different than the re-entry of Casey Anthony.

After a four-year ordeal, United States citizen Amanda Knox is finally heading home. Amanda Knox was convicted in the murder of her roommate Meredith Kercher in 2007 in Italy. Knox, her boyfriend Raffaele Sollecito and another man were all convicted and given long Italian prison sentences. But, Knox and her family have denied her involvement and on appeal put up evidence that in fact there was NO DNA evidence to show that Knox was at the crime scene. In fact, the crime scene itself was contaminated and not properly preserved.

But, while the Italian media made Amanda Know into a villainess, the U.S. media has supported Knox and her family. Yet, it is clear that Knox herself acted in a very bizarre way after the murder at the crime scene. She was even seen kissing her boyfriend and doing cartwheels!!! Further, at her trial her statement that she read showed little empathy for the death of her former roommate and lots of grandiosity on Knox’s part. This did not win her any Italian fans and one would have hoped that she would have been coached better.

Yet, Amanda Knox will re-enter U.S. society as somewhat of a cult hero, and is sure to sign lucrative book and interview deals. So, why is America embracing her while we turned away from Casey Anthony? After all, both women were eventually acquitted of murder yet both have displayed very bizarre behavior to say the least.

I can tell you that the answer is simple. We are rooting for Knox in part because her family is so likeable and the Anthonys were not.  The Knox family is an asset where the Anthony’s were all one big liability. Further, the Casey Anthony case involved the death of a child and a mother who seemingly had no remorse. But, the two women do share the difficult transition back into society after spending several years in jail. This is not an easy process for anybody.

Re-entry is the key to changing our criminal justice system. In fact, without a successful re-entry many are bound to find their way back to jail and prison in other cases. The two main factors in a successful re-entry are family ties and community relations. My bet is that the Knox family will provide what is necessary to help their daughter. This is where Amanda Knox is way ahead of Casey Anthony. And, this is why people will want to read a book by Knox.

Remember, these ladies will be dealing with the trauma of prison for many years, as will their families. I suggest both need extensive therapy and quality support teams. Looking back it seems the Anthony team was looking for only a payday. They quickly found out that there is a big difference between fame and infamy. My advice to all of my clients when they prepare for prison is to begin preparing for re-entry because as I have said many times, Prison is easy, re-entry is tough no matter who you are.

Here is hoping that the Knox team realizes just how difficult a process this is and they get Amanda the help she will surely need for the long term.

Just as I told the Anthony team, there are resources everywhere that can help, but unlike the Anthony team, the Knox team is welcome to call me anytime.

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